the more people talk shit about masculinity the more alienated i am from the trans community, but the more i feel like a boy and feel like actively identifying as a boy

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a thing that was v helpful to me: letting go of the idea that there is a version of myself that is “”“real”“” that i need to “”“discover”“”

i’ve been a girl, uncomfortably. i’ve been a boy, slightly less uncomfortably, but still uncomfortably for different reasons. i’m nb now because being nb is the most comfortable and honest thing for me to be. “nonbinary” is a useful and accurate way for me to describe myself. i see myself reflected in other trans people and their stories, so “trans” is a comfortable space for me to inhabit. maybe, someday, nonbinariness will no longer be useful or comfortable, and i will be something else. what people think of as “womanhood” is sometimes a useful space for me to inhabit, but i mark an intentional line between being a woman and being a nonbinary person passing as a woman, because the semantic/internalized difference is significant and validating to me.

all of those things are equally a part of my experience and a part of who i am. there is no part of me that is permanent. i can come to understand why i am the way i am, or whether i like the thing i am, or whether i want to change into something different in the future, but there is no “real me” waiting to be discovered. there are only different versions/interpretations of myself that are 100% real and legit for the present moment that they exist.

also like. in case anyone was wondering, i don’t disparage people who are all “die cis scum” etc. it doesn’t actually matter what i think about whether ~that kind of behavior~ is ok or justifiable or whatever, because tbh at the end of the day it’s not my (or your) job to tell other people how to express their anger. peoples’ behavior isn’t always gonna align to your political agenda, and it isn’t really fair to expect it to do so 100% of the time.

also i could very very easily be considered a “radical” (maybe even a little bit of an “”anarchist”“) because of my beliefs about gender & class, so like. probably don’t roll your eyes and talk disparagingly about ~radicals~ in my presence maybe?? at the very least, you’re not gonna earn any brownie points from me with the whole queer-assimilationist bidness. just throwin that out there.

projects I am currently working on:

  • typography project 3.3 promotional materials
  • typography project 4.1 font
  • image & form compound word
  • image & form cart project
  • mechanical comic project #1
  • mechanical comic project #2
  • the voice golden book
  • the voice tattoo
  • graphic form ???? ARCHETYPES that’s it

im only taking five classes and FOUR OF THEM are requiring me to work on two projects at once right now, where one is due within a week and the other is long-term

this is on top of having commissions i need to finish, having a job i have to work at as much as possible to keep from being dead broke, having to move everything out of my old apartment by the end of the month (and help milly move since they don’t have a car and have to work two jobs, so their schedule is p tight). i really wanted to get back into doing my webcomic soon

im so fucking overwhelmed i don’t know what to do other than just do each project as it’s due, either the day of or the day before it’s due. im supposed to be taking 18 credit hours next semester and i don’t—!!! i can’t even imagine!!???

Anonymous » Being asexual I don't consider myself oppressed, not in the same way as LGBT folks are who have been killed, disowned, turned down from jobs etc. It's more a lack of awareness that people DON'T NEED TO HAVE SEX to have a healthy life/relationship and there are a lot of misconceptions out there and ignorance. People might look at you funny if you bring it up and they don't know about it and in some cases that might lead to abuse toward the individual. That's my own personal view on it issue

that’s totally legit. what i can’t get behind is the assertion by that blog that you have to be oppressed to be part of the lgbtqia+ community (the fact that the groups that make up said acronym are oppressed classes is not the same thing as defining the group by its oppression, ya dig), and if someone else who happens to be in the same subgroup as you considers their invisibility to be a form of oppression, it’s not fair to shut them down or tell them that it isn’t true.

"i’m going to tell you why you’re not really queer, and why what you experience isn’t oppression, because i’m a member of this group and so it’s my job to judge everyone else and tell them what words they’re allowed to use to describe themselves, but i’m not gatekeeping" lmao really

danny sent me a package and apparently someone was moving out of the apartment building just as the mailman came by, so he just ~left the box on the front porch~ with the door wide open and movers heading in and out packing boxes into a truck. so i can only assume that whoever moved out just took my package with the assumption that it was a box of their stuff, and the postal service is just giving me a big ol’ fuck-you shrug. they’re supposed to call me when the mailman who delivered the package is near my neighborhood so he can show me where he left it, but that doesn’t do me a whole lot of good when the package isn’t fucking there.

apparently i’m going to be late to sign the lease for my new apartment today too because steph’s boss is a shitbag wow whoo wowie what a day and it’s not even 11am yet